The Wine Wanderers

I can say with certainty that I represent the neophyte constituency of the THE BOTTLE. As such, my ambition is to develop my knowledge and taste, when given a choice of wines, beyond a preference for the larger bottle.

And so I find myself in better company with Screwtop and Sommelier. I am sure we will be adding other monikers of fermented prose to the racks. In the meantime, I would like to add to the philosophy of the bottle.

Firstly, out of principle I am in agreement with manifestos, especially one concerning wine. Perhaps that makes us a modern version of the Champagne Socialist, except that we are not restricting ourselves to such a narrow sphere. And like Orwell, we reject wine nationalism, we reject the power in the concentration of taste, we reject the usurpation of the language of the critic. Drinkers Unite!

Secondly, in order to reject Parker and to restore true criticism of wine, and in fact to support true criticism itself, I suggest that our manifesto reject any scale, measurement, or any form of arbitrary ranking of wines. The growth of such arbitrariness has removed discourse from our public spaces. As the numbers take the place of communication, so our understanding, appreciation and involvement wanes. Quality then becomes not about enjoyment and the relationship with the wine so well described by Sommelier, but merely the superlative. This is the best wine. How do we know? It's a Parker 100. Or, more frighteningly, it's more expensive than your wine.

Let's speak in ordinary English, free from meaningless metaphor and superiority supported by posture rather than debate. Let us understand where differences are in the quality of grape and production, and where they are constructed in the 'quality' of taste.

Thirdly, there shall be no prejudice. I must say, I love to be snobbish about wine, not only for the semblance of understanding, but also as a way of cutting down the endless choice in the wine store. However, why not celebrate the $2 plonk found in the remainder bin, as long as we know, following from the second point, why we are celebrating it? Is that not the joy of this - as in life. Is there there no serendipity in Chardonnay? I say we reject Sidewaysisms. I say that we want more Merlot. I say that we put Australian wine on the Barbie. I say that we find reason in Reisling. I say yes to all creeds and colours of wine.

This is not just The Bottle. This is the start of a revolution. It is the restoration of civility, of cooperation, of understanding. This is the return not just to wine drinking, but to just wine drinking. I challenge all of you to have THE BOTTLE.